America - the greatest country on earth. We hold economic, democratic, moralistic, and entertainment superiority over the rest of the world. And these last two months (or so) have shown how truly superior, great, and downright fantastic this country truly is:
In America, we take our political campaign reform seriously. We want organized groups to be accountable to the citizens as to where they spend their money. That's why the clearly organized group of neighbors in Parker, Colorado against annexation are such a clear a present threat to our national political balance.
We know that alcohol abuse is a serious issue here in the US - and we are proud of the great state of North Carolina for enacting swift and decisive liquor laws requiring a permit to purchase kegs. Such, there are less stringent laws governing the purchase of firearms - but with this new law, at least no one will get drunk and then shoot off their semi-automatic firearms into a crowd.
The US media has stopped focusing on the political "blue vs red" game - and started focusing on real, tough issues. They want the public to know where their priorities are - that's why such hard-hitting, breaking news stories as "Terrell Owens in Hospital After Possibly Trying to Commit Suicide" and "America Entranced with Dancing Springer" appear on the front page of national news sources.
We proudly display our respect and the hindsight about 9/11 in a moving docudrama on a major network entitled "Path to 9/11." This brave look at the events leading up to the worst terrorist attack in US history had to leap several hurtles thrown into its path such as two FBI consultants quitting and an outrageous lawsuit threat from a minor character in the film. Who could have predicted this complications?
We have finally been able to peg down the sole cause of pedophile tendencies: alcoholism - no - being molested by a clergyman - no, wait - ah, of course, being a homosexual!
The same great network that released the aforementioned docudrama followed up with strong reporting that outed the congressional page that exchanged racy emails with the aforementioned Mark Foley. Fine investigative editing - er - journalism that ensures ABC to be rocketed to the top of the news sources.
Of course, the crowning glory of American politics of the moment is that we have finally figured out who is to blame for 9/11 and the Foley pedophilia cover up - Bill Clinton and the Democrats!
But the number one, single, dare I say climactic item that is the absolute greatest thing about our great country that is America the Great is: